Twenty Five

Somehow I have a feeling I may get into trouble for this. But what’s life without risks, right?

I’ve calculated, and arrived at the conclusion, that the best age for a girl to start dating is 25 years old. Here’s why…

After two people decide to be “an item”, it’ll take about a year (or two) for the couple to get used to one another. Ya know, get to know each other’s quicks, strengths, favourite this, and that, and yada, yada, yada…

By the time that’s over, she’s 26.

Assuming the guy proposes marriage after a year’s dating, and she agrees, it’ll probably take another year before the marriage actually happens. Because it takes time to prepare for a wedding.

You gotta book the venues, prepare invitation lists, and send out invitation cards. Also, you may have to call the people you’ve invited to ask if they’ve received the cards, and ask if they’re coming or not, because they don’t usually RSVP as requested.

Yup… About a year later, she’ll be 27.

After marriage, I can’t imagine they’d rush to produce offsprings right away. They’ll likely enjoy a year or two of marital bliss. Something called the “honeymoon years”. Apparently once a kid arrives, a couple’s good times ceases to roll. Thus it’s reasonable to assume this would take another year or two.

She’ll be 29.

Then comes… THE QUESTION: To breed, or not to breed? Most likely if the couple are still madly in love (or even if they can barely stand each other’s presence), the decision would be: BREED.

So the couple “play plays”, and “OOhh ooHHs”. Once the sperm unites with the oocyte (female egg), and their genetic materials fuse, it’ll take about 9 months before she gives birth.

She’ll be approximately 30 then.

After having their first baby, no sane couple, I’d imagine, would think of having a 2nd baby right off the bat. They would want to see if they can be good parents first. Ya know, to test if they can raise an angel, or start questioning if the spawn of satan in their hands is actually someone else’s child switched at birth. I think 2 to 3 years of experimentation would suffice. Let’s say 3.

She’ll then be 33. And they decide, “we’re good parents”. Okey the dokey then. Once again they go through the “play play”, “OOhh ooHHHhh” rigamarole, and voila! Magic happens, and 9 months later, they’re blessed with baby #2. Another 2 years of a unique blend of parenting bliss and torture, and she would be 35.

35 years old seems to be the generally agreed-upon cutoff point for women to bear children. It’s for her safety. But of course some couples would gamble and try for baby #3 despite warnings from experts; real or otherwise.

So there ya go. Methinks the best age for a girl to start dating (assuming that she doesn’t change partners along the way) is 25. If the girl wanna test waters and stuff, she should start earlier. If the couple wants a bigger family, then the earlier they get married, the safer.

Don’t get me wrong yah. I’m NOT saying that women above 25 are “too late” and have “no hope”. It’s just that they may have to rush things a little. Maybe cut short the honeymoon years. Have babies quicker. Or maybe choose to forgo having children altogether. Adopt?

There are options. But if you want a leisurely marriage, and to start a family the way society’s most accustomed to, I think 25’s the magic number.